2010 Royal Rumble

So I only have time to watch one more Royal Rumble. I don't feel like watching 2008, and I can't find my 2009 (which I wouldn't choose anyway) so I will go with the most recent one, 2010. This is also the only Rumble match I have ever had the fortune of seeing live, and thankfully, I loved it.

Probably the biggest storyline is Shawn Michaels wanting to win the Royal Rumble, so he can go to Wrestlemania to face the Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship. He wants to avenge his loss at the previous year's Wrestlemania, and has become obsessed with trying to face and defeat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. This is virtually his last chance to do so. Backstage, Kane tells Shawn that this obsession won't end well. Triple H comes in (having reformed D-Generation X with Shawn) and Triple H says Shawn will have to find another way to face the Undertaker. Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are on commentary.

#1 is Dolph Ziggler, who has come a long way since the Spirit Squad. In fact, he's fighting for the World Heavyweight Championship at THIS year's Rumble. #2 is Evan Bourne, perhaps in a parallel in Mysterio being #2 in 2006. Striker thankfully points out that #2 starts at the same time as #1. Cole says #1 is a few seconds longer but they're in there at the same exact time when the bell rings. Both men look at the big Wrestlemania sign to put over the importance. Bourne starts off with some kicks and a hurricanrana for Ziggler. Ziggler comes back and nearly dropkicks Bourne out but Bourne fights it. Bourne brings the high flying maneuvers to get the crowd into it early. Bourne tries to hurricanrana Dolph out to no avail. Dolph responds with the Zig Zag. Bourne stays on the apron and kicks Dolph in the head, and responds with Air Bourne. So both men got to show off, and now...

#3 is CM Punk, joined by Serena of the Straight Edge Society. This is one of my favorite Rumble moments ever. Punk tosses Bourne into Dolph, tosses Bourne out, and clotheslines Dolph out. Punk tells Serena to get the mic, and Punk...CUTS A FUCKING PROMO. "Let me thank you all for joining me tonight in what will be the most historic moment my Straight Edge Society has ever seen. These are just the first of 29 other men that will be thrown over the top rope, or if they have the courage that the WWE Universe lacks, they can be saved! And unfortunately, not everybody can win the Royal Rumble. Excuse me...it's clobberin' time." Brilliant. #4 is JTG. JTG gets a few good shots in on CM Punk, mounts him on the 2nd turnbuckle, but Punk tosses him out. PROMO TIME AGAIN! "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted...not everybody can win the Royal Rumble match. Just like not everyone can be saved. There are people here tonight that cannot, that will not ever have the reserve and dedication in their heart to follow in my footsteps. Tonight, I become the first ever Straight Edge Royal Rumble match winner."

#5 is THE GREAT KHALI. "Great Khali! Great Khali, Great Khali, I can save you! Great Khali, I can make you...I can make you greater! I can see the pain in your eyes; you need to be saved! Please, Great Khali, raise your right hand! Do you accept Straight Edge into your life?" Khali responds with a chop right to Punk's head. Head vice! #6 is the second woman to ever enter the Royal Rumble, Beth Phoenix! She has a stare down with Khali. Khali picks her up and puts her on the apron, telling her to leave. Beth grabs him by the head and kisses him...over the top rope! Beth Phoenix just eliminated the Great Khali. She clotheslines Punk's head off! Big pop for all of this. She tries to eliminate Punk but Punk hangs on and drops Beth Phoenix with a Go 2 Sleep. Beth Phoenix is tossed over the top as Zack Ryder comes out at #7. Punk has the mic, "You! You! You have potential, you have potential! How would you like to be a member of the Straight Edge..." and Punk nails Ryder with the microphone. Big "CM Punk" chant in the arena. And rightfully so. And there goes Zack Ryder. Punk has a busted mouth too as he TAKES THE MIC AGAIN! "Watch me rise! Who's it gonna be? Who's next? Whoever it is...I am better than them! I am better than each and every single one of you today!"

Unfortunately for Punk, #8 is Triple H. CM Punk loses the smirk off his face. Punk and Triple H stare down as the crowd is totally into it. Triple H blocks a punch and knocks Punk down. Facebuster for Punk. Punk hits the knee to Triple H but can't get the bulldog, but he DOES get a spinebuster. #9 is the Intercontinental Champion, Drew McIntyre (pre-amazing theme music). Triple H wants McIntyre so he greets him with a high knee to the face. Pedigree tries but Punk grabs Triple H and goes for the GTS. Triple H grabs the leg and TOSSES CM Punk out. Punk is out way too early here. McIntyre takes advantage of Triple H inside the ring. #10 is Ted DiBiase, back when people thought he had a main event future. He gets dropped by Triple H right away, but counters with a powerslam. McIntyre and DiBiase double team Triple H. #11 is John Morrison, who was feuding with McIntyre at this point. He starts off attacking DiBiase before taking down McIntyre and punching away at his face. Morrison spins out of a backbreaker into a DDT. Impressive. He sets McIntyre up for the Starship Pain but DiBiase attacks. Morrison drops DiBiase with a kick to the head and goes back for Starship Pain, and connects. Triple H attacks Morrison from behind. #12 is Kane. Kane goes up top right away and hits Triple H with a flying clothesline. DiBiase eats a clothesline in the corner and a sidewalk slam. McIntyre and Morrison both eat a simultaneous Chokeslam. Triple H runs into a boot. Kane catches DiBiase coming off the top with a shot to the throat. Kane tries to dump DiBiase but Teddy hangs onto the ropes. Triple H attacks Kane to stop it but gets GOOZLED! Chokeslam to Hunter!

#13 is Cody Rhodes of Legacy. He saves DiBiase from elimination via Kane. Big Russian Leg Sweep to Hunter. Clothesline to McIntyre. Morrison and Cody go back and forth here and Morrison hits a springboard from the apron, but is dropkicked in mid-air. Nice. #14 is MVP, who lost earlier in the night to Miz, but beat him up after. And sure enough, Miz comes out and clocks MVP with his United States Championship. MVP doesn't make it to the ring. Legacy tries to dump Legacy as Kane works over everyone in the ring again. #15 is Carlito. Carlito hits a springboard back elbow on Legacy. Monkey flip to Morrison who lands FACE first. Picture that. I honestly cannot remember if Carlito is face or heel here. Backstabber to Triple H. One for McIntyre. One for DiBiase. #16 is the United States Champion, the Miz. Right away, Skull Crushing Finale to Carlito. And MVP is back! MVP hammers away at the Miz and clotheslines Miz and himself over the top! They brawl on the outside. #17 is Matt Hardy, who is apparently, "the heart and soul of Smackdown!" Poor Smackdown! As usual, he hits his signature moves on some random people. He goes up top but Kane shoves him to the outside, but Triple H dumps Kane!! Glad they're not letting the ring clog up too much. Spinebusters for Cody, Carlito, DiBiase, and Morrison. Triple H stands tall in the ring. Pedigree for Cody Rhodes, but McIntyre chop blocks the leg.

The four heels in the ring gang up on Triple H, so of course, #18 is SHAWN MICHAELS!! He quickly backdrops Carlito out of the ring. Atomic drop to Cody, and DiBiase, as well as a chop for both. Shawn tosses Cody! There goes DiBiase! Shawn Michaels is on FIRE. Flying forearm to McIntyre, kip up! He ducks Morrison's flying chuck and tosses Morrison over the top. He's stopped by a clothesline from McIntyre. Shawn knees McIntyre in the face and he and Triple H clothesline McIntyre OUT. We are down to Shawn and Hunter. They stop and realize they're left alone in the ring. Double five knuckle shuffle! So...ten knuckle shuffle. FU to Shawn over the top, but Shawn hangs onto the ropes to stop that idea. Pedigree for Cena. AND SHAWN SUPERKICKS TRIPLE H OUT! HOLY SHIT. #20 is Shelton Benjamin, and really Benjy, why bother. Dragon whip for Cena. German suplex to Cena. Beny stalks Shawn and hits the Pay Dirt. What a horrible name for a move. Pay Dirt for Cena, but Cena catches him and tosses Benjy over the top. #21 is Yoshi Tatsu. Spinning heel kick to Shawn and kicks to Cena. Double knees to Shawn and kicks him in the chest. Cena ducks a kick and lifts Tatsu out. Shawn and Cena go back and forth and Cena gets the advantage as the Big Show comes out at #22. Cena looks like someone just pointed a gun at him. Headbutts for both men. Show tries to dump Shawn, but Shawn hangs on and grabs Show's neck ala Benoit in '04 Cena comes from behind and tries to dump Big Show but Show hangs on. He carries Shawn back in the ring onto Cena's shoulders. FU attempt, but Shawn gets out. Cena tries to backdrop Shawn out but Shawn hangs on and skins the cat...right into Big Show's arms, who drops Shawn in the ring.

#23 is Mark Henry. Stare down between the two big men as Henry tries to body slam Big Show to no avail. Cena attacks and shoulderblocks Big Show. Headbutt from Henry. Another shoulderblock to Show and Mark Henry BODY SLAMS Big Show. But Cena ups that and picks Henry up for the FU! He falls through and Henry falls onto Cena. #24 is Chris Masters. Gorilla press slam to Shawn! Masterlock to...well, Big Show, which obviously doesn't work, so Big Show flips Masters out of the ring. Mark Henry tries to dump Big Show. Shawn comes up from behind and tries to help as R-Truth enters at #25. Henry shoves Shawn away and goes back to trying to eliminate Show. R-Truth comes up from behind and dumps both Mark Henry AND Big Show at once. Wow. Lie Detector to Cena. Shawn hits a few chops but gets hip tossed by Truth. #26 is Jack Swagger. Vader Bomb to Cena, Vader Bomb to Cena, vertical suplex to Cena, vertical suplex to Shawn. Oklahoma Slam to R-Truth. Swagger tries to clothesline Shawn out but Shawn hangs on with one arm and goes back in the ring under the bottom rope. #27 is Kofi Kingston. Right away, we get Cole's "Controlled Frenzy" line, which is absolutely retarded and I hate it. Kofi beats up everyone in the ring and hits the Boom Boom Leg Drop on Swagger. Swagger tries to dump Kofi but Kofi leg scissors Swagger around the waist and eliminates Swagger! Big dropkick from Kofi to Shawn. Kofi eliminates R-Truth.

#28 is Chris Jericho, who beats everyone up, but gets FU'd by Cena. DDT by Shawn to Cena. Flying elbow drop from Shawn to Jericho! Shawn tunes up the band for Jericho, but Kofi intercepts with Trouble in Paradise! Cena picks up Kofi and hits an FU to the outside. Codebreaker to Cena as Jericho is the only man standing. And #29 is THE RETURN OF EDGE! Jericho, understandably, shits himself. The crowd goes NUTS. Spear to Jericho! Spear to Shawn! Spear to Cena! Edge TOSSES Jericho out! Edge-O-Matic to Shawn! Cena picks Edge up for the FU but Edge escapes and hits the Edgecution DDT. #30 is Batista, so our final four is Batista, Edge, John Cena, and Shawn Michaels, any of whom can win right now. Spinebuster to Edge, clotheslines to Cena and Shawn. Batista just beats up everyone and goes all Ultimate Warrior with the ropes. SPEAR TO BATISTA! FU TO EDGE! Flying forearm to Cena, kip up by Shawn, atomic drop, chop, atomic drop to Batista, chop, body slam to Cena, body slam to Batista, and Shawn goes up top! Flying elbow drop to Cena! Enziguri to Batista! Flying elbow drop to Batista!

Shawn is tuning up the band now...Cena in his sights...Sweet Chin Music to Cena! Sweet Chin Music to Batista! Edge clotheslines them both out, but they both land on the apron. Sweet Chin Music to Edge who falls into the ring, but Batista runs over and knocks Shawn off the apron! The crowd is deflated from that one. How will Shawn EVER find a way to face the Undertaker? He'd have to put his career on the line or something to get 'Taker to agree to a match now. Shawn cannot believe it and looks like he might cry. Shawn tosses an official down and dives in the ring. Charles Robinson tries to stop him but Shawn gives him an EPIC Sweet Chin Music. Shawn has a breakdown and finally leaves. Batista is the first man up in the ring and stalks Cena. Batista Bomb to Cena, but Cena backdrops out of it! FU to Batista, but Batista fights out. Batista charges but Cena pulls the ropes down and Batista is out! Edge stalks Cena and sets up for the spear! Cena stops it with a kick to the chest, charges, but Edge tosses Cena out! Edge wins the 2010 Royal Rumble! I love the liberties they took with this one. It felt so different than any other Rumble and there was no set time intervals, and it worked. They never let the ring clog up at all. ****1/2