2006 Royal Rumble

15 Raw superstars, 15 Smackdown! superstars tonight. Vince McMahon wants someone to throw Shawn Michaels out of the ring. Masters promises to win it, Lashley is on a hot streak at this point, Matt Hardy will not die, Rey wants to win to dedicate it to Eddie Guerrero (who sadly passed away three months prior). Benoit, Orton, and Booker all have steam heading in to the Rumble. Rob Van Dam will make his return tonight in the Rumble, as well. And of course, Big Show, Kane, and Triple H are all realistic winners here, too. Especially Triple H. But they did a great job of building up multiple contenders. Hell, even Shelton Benjamin was getting more screen time with Mama Benjamin. Before Lillian can do the rules, the Spirit Squad comes out. aka, 4 future endeavored superstars, and Dolph Ziggler. They give a cheer. You really thought Kenny Dykstra would be the breakout superstar of them all, but Dolph really came into his own.

#1 is Triple H. Can he be only the third man to win from #1? It sure as hell is possible here tonight. #2 is Rey Mysterio, who comes out in a low rider, ala Eddie Guerrero. Triple H, despite being a heel, can't help but smile a bit in a cute moment. Rey's got the Eddie shirt on, does Eddie's shimmy, and points to the sky. Crowd loves it. Big "Eddie" chant to start. Mysterio dropkicks the leg out from Triple H and continues to keep the pace fast with a springboard crossbody, and a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Rey goes up for the 10-punch in the corner to a BIG "Eddie" chant. Triple H picks Rey up and puts him on the apron but Rey hits a neckbreaker, dropkicks Hunter into the ropes, and misses the 619. Triple H nails Rey witha Clothesline as Simon Dean rides down on his scooter. No warming up as he gets straight in and attacks Rey, who is already down. Crowd HATES that, as Dean gives the thumbs up for Triple H. He tries to toss Rey to no avail and wants a high-five from Triple H. Triple H is bordering face, and even knocks Dean down with a right hand. Seated senton from the ropes, and Hunter and Rey unite to toss Simon Dean, before fighting each other again. Rey hits a Bronco Buster on Hunter. #4 is Psicosis of the Mexicools. He goes for Rey, having a big history with Rey. Spinning heel kick to Hunter. Psicosis drops Rey on Triple H and tries to German Suplex him over to no avail. Psicosis tries to do a Razor's Edge to Rey out of the ring, but Rey counters with a headscissors and sends Psicosis out of the ring.

#5 is RIC FLAIR! Flair is a face at this point, Evolution is gone, and they had feuded at the end of last year, including an underrated great steel cage match. Flair takes it to Hunter with punches, chops, and a big back body drop. More chops sends Hunter to his knees. Flair struts around Hunter, headlock, and punches away. Triple H counters with a facebuster, but Flair GRABS A HOLD OF HUNTER'S NUTS! Whatever works. They poke each other in the eyes, Flair goes after Hunter, and Hunter back body drops Flair out. And right on time, #6 is Big Show. So much for tossing him out fast, Big Show is on his way in, hand cast and all, who was feuding with Hunter right before the Rumble. He goes right to work beating up Triple H. Triple H gets nothing here as Big Show just beats the tar out of Hunter the entire time. #7 is, for his second year in a row, THE COACH! His shirt this year, "I'm The Coach," and on the back, "Enough Said!" He eliminated Lawler in a battle royal to get this spot. He goes right for Big Show. Big "you suck" chant for Coach. Big Show grabs Coach by the throat and pushes him to the outside. Hunter gets back up and kicks Big Show, but is caught in a gorilla press slam. Sadly, Big Show doesn't toss him over the ropes but rather just to the mat. #8 is Bobby Lashley, as Michael Cole calls him the "Dark Horse" in this Rumble. THAT'S RACIST! Lashley is undefeated at this point (and remains so for another month before losing to JBL at No Way Out). Lashley and Show go face-to-face and Lashley shoves Big Show and gets knocked down by a right hand. Lashley breaks the Chokeslam and tries a waistlock but gets elbowed in the head. Lashley does some kind of tackle sending Big Show over his shoulder. Lashley kicks Show out of the ring, but under the ropes. Lashley sends Mysterio into the turnbuckle so hard, he nearly gave him whiplash.

#9 is Kane, who is part of the World Tag Team Champions with the Big Show. Just call it quits now, Lashley. Neither man can gain the advantage until Kane boots Lashley in the face. Lashley gets the offense and hits a Dominator on Kane. #10 is Sylvain, formerly Sylavain Grenier. He wants to work with Lashley, then turns on him, but is tossed with ease by Lashley. He turns around into a DOUBLE GOOZLE and a DOUBLE CHOKESLAM from the World Tag Team Champions. Big Show and Kane pick Lashley up, and Big Show and Kane TOSS Lashley out. Since it's the Rumble, Big Show and Kane go at it now. And rightfully so. Kane has Big Show by the throat and against the ropes, but Big Show grabs Kane by the throat too. Triple H comes up from behind and DUMPS THEM BOTH! And just like that, we have another entrant. #11 is Carlito, who had a big of momentum at this point too. He was just in an Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship earlier in the month. Then again, so was Chris Masters. Not surprisingly, they were a tag tea together. Carlito and Rey get some fast paced action back and forth until Carlito takes Rey down with a Backstabber. Triple H walks up and thumbs Carlito into the eye. Carlito kicks Hunter in the face and knocks him down, in probably the only time that will EVER happen in his career. #12 is CHRIS BENOIT~! Big pop for Benoit. Benoit means fucking business on his way to the ring as Hunter tells Carlito to get him, but Benoit knocks everyone down. Chops for everyone! German suplex to Rey! Chops for Hunter! STIFF chops, too! German Suplex to Hunter! German Suplex to Carlito, but Carlito lands on his feet, but walks into a Crossface!! Triple H breaks it up and puts Benoit on the apron. Benoit tries to suplex Hunter over, as they just try to suplex each other. Cool spot, and Hunter puts Benoit on the top turnbuckle. Hunter goes up but MANY MANY HEABUTTS knocks Triple H on his back. DIVING HEADBUTT! Crowd loves it.

#13 is Booker T, the United States Champion. Booker won it by putting Randy Orton in his match as a substitute due to injury, and Orton won it for Booker, against...Benoit. Booker goes for Benoit, as Cole references their WCW best of 7 matches, impressingly enough. Benoit tosses Booker out almost immediately, though, as Booker must have still been injured. Benoit tries to toss Hunter but Carlito attacks (instead of helping, ugh). #14 is 1/2 of the WWE Tag Team Champions, Joey Mercury. He drops Carlito with a jawbreaker and a dropkick. He gets German Suplexed for being in there. Mercury counters with a falling reverse DDT. #15 is the return of TATANKA! The return absolutely NOBODY was waiting for. At ALL. Carlito has a "what the fuck, really?" look on his face. Tatanka goes to work on Carlito and Hunter. Crowd does the Seminole chant, as Tatanka nearly chops Mercury out of the ring. Benoit keeps going after Triple H.

#16 is the other half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, Johnny Nitro. He runs in to save Joey Mercury from the perils of TATANKA~!, but fails. Cole says that Tatanka has been impressive. Well, I suppose it's been a decent two minutes. Tatanka just chops MNM over and over, in the chest, on the head...etc. Carlito nearly tosses Rey twice but Rey keeps hanging on. The "Eddie" chant is back, as Trevor Murdoch in #17. I really don't miss him. He looks just disgusting. Hunter tosses Rey but Rey hangs on again, channeling the spirit of 2003 Chris Jericho here, clearly. #18 is Eugene, making his return as well. He wants to shake hands with Trevor, but Trevor punches him in the face. He goes it two more times, but Eugene HULKS UP! AIRPLANE SPIN! Rey runs in and bulldogs both Murdoch AND Eugene at the same time. So...a double bulldog. #19 is Animal of the Legion of Doom, as we're getting no eliminations. Animal has quite the gut here, as MNM attacks immediately but Animals runs through them with a clothesline. Powerslam and elbow drop to Triple H. Scattered "L.O.D." chants. #20 is Rob Van Dam! Carlito, who attacked Van Dam on Raw recently, runs off into hiding. What a hot crowd as we get a big "RVD" chant. Van Dam just lays kicks to everyone as Carlito is on the apron, hiding behind the turnbuckle. Spinning heel kick to Triple H. Spin kick to Animal. Van Dam and Benoit face off and Van Dam kicks Benoit in the face. MNM attack but get dropkicked by Van Dam. Eugene cheers him on. RVD dumps Animal! And now Carlito attacks.

#21 is Orlando Jordan. Van Dam gets a hold of Carlito and tosses him but Carlito hangs on with ONE ARM. Ouch. #22 is Chavo Guerrero. He also points to Eddie, as he's a face at this point due to the Eddie situation. Another "Eddie" chant. Chavo lays waste to everybody and shimmies in the middle of the ring. Probably the only time you'll ever see Chavo clean the ring, as Chavo does Eddie's Three Amigos vertical suplexes. Chavo goes up top...points to the sky...and...Frog Splash to...nobody as Triple H shoves him out. Whoops. #23 is Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy beats up a bunch of people, which seems to be the norm here. He gets lost in the shuffle. MNM dumps Tatanka, who the announcers rave about. #24 is the other Mexicool, Super Crazy. He dives from the top rope onto MNM to start. The ring is way too full and people just keep getting lost in the shuffle. #25 is Shawn Michaels! Hopefully he gets rid of some bodies here. Shawn attacks everyone with VIGOR! Murdoch slows him down though. Murdoch whips Shawn into the turnbuckle. Shawn goes to the apron. Murdoch charges but Shawn pulls the ropes down and bye bye Trevor Murdoch. #26 is the Masterpiece, Chris Master. Boy, they really wanted to put him over and it just didn't work. He wasn't ready, but he's a much better worker now. Matt tries to dump Triple H. HA!! As if. #27 is the World's Largest Love Machine, Viscera, who won a battle royal to gain this spot. And boy, is his outfit purple or what. They're clearly just trying to get as many people in as possible here. Super Crazy tries to dump Triple H. HA!!! As if. Viscera humps Matt Hardy. Cole thinks Vis wore those colors before in the WWE. Matt tries a Twist of Fate, but Vis lifts him up and out of the Rumble.

#28 is Shelton Benjamin. Benoit dumps Eugene. Super Crazy is on Vis. "Look at him, they're climbing Viscera like they're climbing Brokeback Mountain!" - Lawler. #29 is the return of GOLDUST~! He just keeps returning at the Rumble. Goldust beats up MNM. And Goldust is lost in the shuffle now, too. #30 is Randy Orton. Orton goes right after Benoit, and DUMPS Benoit! Benoit beat Orton on the Smackdown! prior to this, too. RKO to Viscera. BUT WATCH OUT, IT"S ORLANDO JORDAN! Carlito and Chris Masters eliminate Viscera. Carlito pushes Masters over the top! Carlito turns around into Goldust. Shattered dreams to Carlito! But he turns around into a spinning heel kick from Van Dam. Orlando Jordan is in his way, so Goldust has to more or less jump out of the ring to be eliminated. Orton gets rid of Orlando Jordan. Shawn and Hunter take center stage but MNM attacks Shawn during his five moves of doom. MNM calls for the Snapshot. Shawn counters with a thumb to the eye of Nitro. Shawn backdrops Mercury onto the apron and tosses Nitro into Mercury, sending him to the outside! Shawn clotheslines both he and Nitro out, but Shawn skins the cat back into the ring! He turns around into a dragon kick from Shelton Benjamin, and a damn good one at that. Shawn tosses Benjamin onto the apron, and then gives him Sweet Chin Music to send him out! Vince McMahon's music hits! Watch those quads, Vince! This whole feud led to the classy, Vince and Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels and "God" back at Backlash 2006. Vince distracts Shawn, and Shane McMahon runs in from behind and tosses Shawn. Shawn keeps getting screwed in these Rumbles. SHANE SHUFFLE! Shawn realizes what's happened and makes a bee line for Shane. Triple H cuts him off and tries a Pedigree but gets back body dropped and Sweet Chin Music for his troubles. Van Dam has had enough and kicks Carlito up and out of the ring.

Final four: Rob Van Dam, Triple H, Randy Orton, and Rey Mysterio. Former Evolution members vs former Tag Team Champions. Rey and Triple H square off and Orton and Van Dam go at it. Van Dam drops Mysterio (and himself) on top of Triple H, and then Orton. Rolling Thunder to Orton. Van Dam is crotched up top, and Mysterio is launched into Van Dam, sending him to the outside. Two heels vs. once face again. They decide to team up and chase Rey as we get another "Eddie" chant. Mysterio fights back though, and calls up the 619! Triple H cuts him off so Mysterio tosses Triple H next to Orton. Double 619!! Rey springboards back in, hunter ducks and Orton eats it, but Hunter clotheslines Rey's head off. Orton and Hunter go at it now as Orton connects with a powerslam. Orton stalks, and goes fort he RKO, but Hunter shoves him away, and hits a spinebuster! Rey jumps into Hunter's arms and Hunter tries to carry Rey over the top, but Rey hangs onto the ropes and sends Triple H out!! Hunter is PISSED, but the crowd LOVES it. Hunter pulls Rey out of the ring from under the rope and throws him into the steel steps. Hunter sends Rey back into the ring as Orton stalks him. Orton walks around, smiling. "Eddie" chant fills the arena. Randy picks Rey up by the head but pushes him back down. Orton picks Rey up again, throws him over his shoulder. He runs to the ropes, Rey grabs on the ropes, turns around and hurricanranas Orton to the outside! Rey Mysterio wins! Mysterio picks up the current record for longest time in a Royal Rumble at 1 hour, 2 minutes and 12 seconds. Rey calls to Eddie. The storyline may have been classless from time to time but you know Rey meant every emotion he showed towards Eddie, and that makes it that much better. Good start to the Rumble and a hot enough finish, but the middle was just wrestlers clogging the ring. One would enter, hit some fancy moves, and then get lost in the shuffle. Still, the emotion helped make it a little bit better. ***1/4 Benoit, Malenko, and Chavo congratulate Rey, but Edge says Rey better not challenge him for the belt. Doesn't matter as Edge lost the belt in the next match.