1992 Royal Rumble

Here it is: the first real classic Royal Rumble. This is also the only Royal Rumble to be held for the WWF Heavyweight Championship itself. It was put up for grabs after the controversy between the Undertaker and Hulk Hogan's two Championship matches. Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan are on commentary, which is important, as Heenan provides one of the best commentary jobs in the history of professional wrestling. Heenan is, of course, supporting the recently acquired Ric Flair.

Jack Tunney explains that the match is for the WWF Championship, and we're off, as the British Bulldog draws number one. Bulldog has the momentum after winning a 20-man battle royal at the Royal Albert Hall a few weeks prior. Number two is Ted DiBiase, being led to the ring by Sensational Sherri. DiBiase wastes no time going after the Bulldog. Again, every 2 minutes, we get an entrant. DiBiase fires away with chops and a clothesline. Lots of energy between the two guys hee which starts the Rumble match off well. Gut wrench suplex by DiBiase, who follows up with a fist drop. DiBiase says that's it and tries to toss the Bulldog out, but Davey stands on the apron. DiBiase thinks he's the only man in as the Bulldog steps back in and clotheslines DiBiase over the top. Big pop for that as DiBiase is pissed. And sure enough, number 3 comes out so there's no dull period. And it's Ric Flair. Bobby Heenan is PISSED. "NO! DAMMIT!" Monsoon tells Heenan that he can kiss it goodbye. He's led to the ring by Mr. Perfect, who it seems is sadly not competing.

Flair struts around the ring. Monsoon says that no one has drawn numbers 1-5 and won the Rumble, to which Heenan replies, "Shut up!" Ric Flair is gorilla press slammed by the Bulldog in an impressive spot. Bulldog is taking Ric Flair to the limit as Flair begs for mercy. Bulldog shows none and tries to eliminate Flair but Flair hands on, as Jerry Saggs of the Nasty Boys is led to the ring by Jimmy Hart. Saggs goes right to work on the Bulldog as they double team the dominant wrestler. Bulldog refuses to stay down and runs through the heels with a double clothesline. He tries to throw Saggs over, who hangs on. Saggs stands on the apron to gloat to the crowd, so Bulldog fires off a dropkick to eliminate Jerry Saggs. Heenan shouts out his infamous, "this is not fair to Flair! This is not fair to Flair!" Haku makes his way to the ring as our fifth entrant. Haku also goes straight for Davey Boy Smith, but instead of double teaming, he attacks Flair as well. Heenan freaks out; "What the hell are you doing, Haku?!" Flair bails under the ropes and lets Haku focus his attention on the Bulldog. Haku nails a nasty piledriver and Flair attacks Haku from behind. Oh, apparently managers aren't allowed at ringside again this year. The Bulldog dumps Haku as SHAWN MICHAELS makes his way out! This is Shawn's first Rumble as a singles competitor, and he's in full heel mode.

Flair and Shawn trade chops and fists and hits a big back body drop as well as Sweet Chin Music, back when it was just a normal superkick. Shawn gets press slammed by the Bulldog, who tries to clothesline Shawn over the ropes but Shawn thankfully hangs on and superkicks the daylights out of the Bulldog. Flair attacks Shawn and tries to dump him. Bobby's freaking out, "the room's getting dizzy, I need something to drink." Shawn is bumping like a maniac. It's interesting to watch Shawn and Flair in the ring, knowing what happened 16 years later at Wrestlemania 24. Tito Santana is the next man out, who fires away at Flair. Shawn and Tito face off, in a precursor to their Wrestlemania 8 match a couple onths later. The Bulldog nearly dumps Shawn but Shawn hangs on for dear life. Flair hits the Bulldog with a low blow, much to the chagrin of the crowd. "I'd do that to my grandmother if I had to!" "I'm sure you would."

This is when Tito Santana was El Matidor and dressed as one. A little silly but those are some bright colors. The Barbarian is the next man out, who surveys the ring and goes against the Bulldog. The Barbarian tries to eliminate the Bulldog so Flair walks over and actually tries to HELP HIM eliminate the Bulldog. Finally, they've fixed that from the previous years...even if it is still two heels attacking a face. Shawn jumps to the 2nd turnbuckle and waits to attack but there's no open spot so he jumps down. Interesting to see as he would later never have that kind of miscommunication with a wrestler. The Texas Tornado is the next man out as the ring is filling up with former and future Intercontinental Champions...except the Barbarian. Tornado hammers away at Flair, and we get the Flair flop to the floor. Tornado punch to Shawn Michaels who sells it BEAUTIFULLY with a 360 flips. Bulldog catapults Shawn into the corner and destroys him with a clothesline. Bulldog was number 1 and still looks impressive. Shawn and Bulldog getting familiar with each other will help in 1995, but we'll get to that later.

HERE COMES THE REPO MAN! The Repo Man is, of course, Smash from Demolition with an even sillier gimmick. He sneaks around the ring and dives in to attack the Texas Tornado. He looks so much smaller when he's not in his S&M gear. Flair lights up the Texas Tornado's chest with his trademark chops. Greg Valentine is the next one out. Another former Intercontinental Champion, he lasted 44 minutes last year. He attacks Flair with chops to the chest as Heenan freaks out about all the wrestlers who have yet to enter. It's amazing that Bobby Heenan is able to keep up this worrisome persona the entire Rumble. Monsoon is telling Heenan to give it up and Heenan continues to tell him to shut up. They were such a great tandem commentary team. That's what makes this match so great; even when the action is a little redundant, the commentary makes it feel fresh. Nikolai Volkoff makes his Rumble debut. Flair returns the favor with chops to Valentine. Valentine hits the Figure Four Leg Lock on Ric Flair and the crowd pops big for that. The Repo Man tosses out Nikolai Volkoff, surprisingly. The Big Boss Man is in full sprint to the ring and man, he's over with the crowd. Jabs for Flair, Shawn, Tito, Bulldog, Barbarian, Tornado, and the Boss Man is a house of fire! Meanwhile, the Repo Man dumps Greg Valentine.

Boss Man tries to take Shawn out but Shawn wraps his legs around the Boss Man to save himself. The Boss Man LAUNCHES the Repo Man out, who sneaks away hilariously. Heenan is a nervous wreck. Flair back drops the British Bulldog out of the ring, and Texas Tornado follows out via Flair as well. The crowd is not too pleased about that but it cleans up the ring nicely, and sure enough, here comes Hercules. Shawn Michaels and Tito Santana eliminate each other, sadly. Camera work could be better, or at least the timing as they were eliminated right when Hercules was coming out. Flair high fives the Barbarian and then turns on him, but the Barbarian isn't having ANY of that as the dirtiest player in the game gets press slammed for the second time in this match. The Barbarian tries to dump Flair, but Hercules walks up from behind and dumps the Barbarian. The Boss Man runs up and dumps Hercules as the Boss Man has Flair all to himself. The Boss Man hits...A ROUNDHOUSE KICK?! Holy shit. He charges and goes for a flying shoulderblock, but Flair ducks and the Boss Man SAILS to the outside! Heenan freaks out and thinks that Flair has already won the WWF Championship.

Flair, trying to recooperate, is waiting for his next opponent...and it's Rowdy Roddy Piper. Flair begs for mercy as the crowd LOVES Piper. Piper goes wild on Flair with fist and fire and a BIG BACK BODY DROP! Flair rolls under the ring and Piper cuts him off as the pass and clotheslines 'Naitch. Flair tries an atomic drop but Flair lands on his feet and casually pokes Flair in the eye. Airplane spin to the crowd's delight and Piper HITS THE SLEEPER HOLD!! Piper is the halfway mark as number 16 comes out, and it's Jake "The Snake" Roberts, in full heel mode. Roberts attacks Piper. Flair is out on the mat but starts to come to. He tries to show his love for Roberts who delivers a short-arm clothesline to Flair instead. "This is definitely not fair to Flair!" Jake tries for the DDT on Flair but Piper takes his head off. Figure four leg lock on Jake the Snake! Piper stomps away at both of them. All three men are just beating the hell out of each other. There's very little pathetic elimination attempts in this one, which is nice. And here comes Hacksaw Jim Duggan! He fires away at Flair as Piper tries to eliminate Jake the Snake. It works because it allows Flair and Duggan time to get the spotlight and they won't be in the way. Piper attacks Duggan, and I love that faces are fight faces and heels are fighting heels with little to no hesitation.

IRS is the next man out. IRS goes to work on Duggan while Roberts and Flair try to eliminate Piper. Hacksaw breaks my hear tand saves Piper with a double noggin knocker. The ring isn't horribly clogged up this year like in previous years so you can focus on the action more, and there's more room in the ring to do more noticeable spots. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka is out next to a resounding chorus of boos. He still looks coked out. He breaks my heart as well by attacking Piper, who was trying to eliminate Flair...and then attacking Flair. Piper destroys Flair with chops and the dreaded nostril pull. Almost eliminates him but Flair hangs on. The former WWF Heavyweight Champion, the Undertaker is out next, and I have a feeling some bodies are about to go flying. 'Taker immediately clotheslines Jimmy Snuka to the outside. He grabs Flair by the throat as Heenan freaks out. "It's over, it's over! Everything down the toilet!" Duggan goes to attack 'Taker but 'Taker sends a leg back in Duggan's testicular region. IRS assists the Undertaker, so the Undertaker responds but grabbing IRS by the throat. Flair and Duggan doudble team the Undertaker but can't get anywhere.

HERE COMES THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE! The crowd goes wild. Savage is looking for Jake the Snake but gets nailed by the Undertaker. Jake the Snake ran to the outside to hide from Savage. Jake comes in and attacks Savage. Short arm clothesline but Sacage ducks and WAILS away at Jake the Snake. SAVAGE UP TOP! Double axe handle! Savage knees Jake the Snake in the back and sends him over the top! Savage doesn't care about the Rumble and jumps over to attack Jake. The Undertaker rolls to the outside to attack Savage. Interesting, because the Undertaker would face Jake at Wrestlemania. 'Taker rolls Savage back in but he rolls back out to attack Jake. Heenan is saying now that Savage is still in because he wasn't thrown out, but rather jumped out voluntarily...despite Andre the Giant eliminating himself a few years prior. We'll just blame it on Savage being crazy, but they can bend the rules all they want. It's their Rumble.

Flair tries to low blow the Undertaker but the Undertaker no-sells it. I guess his testicles are dead, too. THE BERZERKER!! Led to the ring by Mr. Fuji. Wrestlemania opponents Ric Flair and Randy Savage go at it. The Undertaker is clearly trying to steal Piper's soul. Flair is on the apron and tries to suplex Savage to the outside but Savage holds on and suplexes Flair back into the ring. 'Taker chokes Flair, so Piper joins in to choke Flair, so 'Taker grabs Piper by the throat. So 'Taker and Piper are choking Flair, but 'Taker is also choking Piper. Cool spot. Virgil is out here and attacks IRS, but Berzerker slows him down. Virgil is just in there to get his ass kicked by the Berzerker apparently, as the Undertaker nearly tosses out Ric Flair to no avail. The Iron Sheik is your next entrant, aka, Col. Mustafa. Vince and his wacky gimmicks. Everything that any wrestler throws at the Undertaker just isn't phasing him, so the question becomes, how do you kill that which is already dead? Or it's just, how the hell do you eliminate the Undertaker? There's a few guys in there that can afford to be cannon fodder for someone. Where's Hogan when you need him? Rick Martel is your next entrant and attacks Virgil. Rick Martel holds the record at 52 minutes and 17 seconds, but Flair is at 50 minutes. Savage tosses Mustafa out as Martel tries to save his record by eliminating Flair.

HERE COMES HULK HOGAN! Let's get some bodies to go flying. The entire crowd is on their feet. Double noggin knocker to the Undertaker and Ric Flair. Hogan attacking Flair but the Undertaker interrupts. Double noggin knocker to IRS and the Undertaker but Berzerker attacks Hulkamania. Three men attacking Hulk Hogan here, but Hulkamania is just too strong. HOGAN CLOTHESLINES THE UNDERTAKER OUT! HOGAN BACK DROPS THE BERZERKER OUT AND THE SHIRT IS BEING RIPPED! Hogan chokes Martel with his shirt. Jim Duggan and Virgil take each other out. Here comes Skinner. Hogan tries to eliminate Flair and Heenan is on the verge of tears. "I'll never do anything wrong again, just let him stay!! I'm soaking wet, I need something to drink. Hey you, stupid! Get me something to drink!" Flair and Martel try to eliminate Piper while Skinner continues Rumble tradition and chokes Hogan out with his own shirt. Flair whips Hogan into the corner, delivers a "Woo!" and Hogan charges back out with a clothesline. Sgt. Slaughter is your next entrant in the Royal Rumble. Martel and Piper dump Skinner. Slaughter goes after Flair as Piper and Hogan trade blows. Flair has become the longevity record holder as Heenan states, "give him the title! That's good enough! I'm telling you if he wins this, I'll never say or do anything bad again."

AND HERE COMES SID VICIOUS! The crowd pops for Sid who goes to work on IRS. Sadly, he doesn't dump IRS. Flair is on the offense against Hogan until Sid gets to him. SID DOES A KIP UP and clotheslines Flair. Number 30 is on his way to the ring, and it's the Warlord, led by Harvey Wippleman. So everyone in the ring has a chance at being WWF Heavyweight Champion. And realistically, it could be Sid, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, or Ric Flair, and, to a lesser extent, Roddy Piper and Sgt Slaughter. Nevermind as Sid LAUNCHES Slaughter into the corner who can't slow down and goes up and over. IRS tries to toss Piper but Piper grabs IRS by the tie and pulls him over from the apron. Sid and Hogan dump the Warlord. If you get Martel out of there, it's really anyone's game. Martel and Piper try to eliminate each other but Sid walks over and shoves them both over.

Final four: Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Sid, and Randy Savage. Your Wrestlemania main events ended up being Sid vs. Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage against Ric Flair. Sid hoists Savage up and Flair attacks from behind, and Savage falls over the top. Hogan whips Flair into the corner and punches him over the top, but Flair hangs onto the apron. Sid from behind and DUMPS HOGAN OVER THE TOP! Hogan is a poor sport and pissed about it, yelling at Sid. Hogan grabs Sid by the arm and FLAIR DUMPS SID FROM BEHIND!! RIC FLAIR IS THE WWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! "He did it! I told you Monsoon! I told you, I told you! Yes yes yes yes!" Heenan is awesome. Hogan gets in the ring and is not content, but it's his own damn fault Flair won anyway. Sid is not happy with Hogan (and rightfully so) and shoves him in the back of the head. They yell at each other because Hogan's a crybaby. Officials are all over this, separating the two of them.

It was the first classic Rumble. They kept the dead weight to a minimum for most of the match, had great commentary, and really built up Ric Flair to win the WWF Championship, especially considering he had been in the WWF for 4 months. Legendary, historic moment in Ric Flair's career. ***** Jack Tunney awards Flair with the belt. "I'm gonna tell you all, with a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment in my life." Flair is in there for 59:26 (not an hour like the commentators said) and still manages to cut a great promo after the match. "For the Hulk Hogans, and the Macho Mans, and the Pipers, and the Sids...now it's Ric Flair, and you all pay homage to the man! Wooooo!"