2000 Royal Rumbleo hi

Ahh, this is more like it. #1 is D-Lo Brown, and #2 is Grandmaster Sexay. Lawler looks distraught. "Some say he got a bad break at birth, but that's only a rumor." - JR. 2 Cool was largely over at this point, but it was mainly Rikishi. D-Lo had himself a nice spot in the mid-card. Still, not the most exciting two participants. Some back and forth action as Sexay belts out an obnoxious laugh. #3 is Headbanger Mosh, complete with road cone-looking boobs. Except they're green and black. The Headbangers just got weirder and weirder. Taka Michinoku and Funaki of Kaientai run out, mad because they're not in the Rumble, but are quickly dumped out. D-Lo hits the Sky High on Mosh, which is one of my favorite moves, knocking the cones off Mosh. #4 is Christian. Christian gets a good pop as this was a couple months before Edge and Christian turned heel and REALLY hit their stride. Nothing much happens, and the crowd isn't THAT into it yet, but #5 is Rikishi and the crowd loves him. Rikishi super kicks Mosh and launches him over the top. Christian eats a side belly-to-belly suplex and is launched out. D-Lo on the offense, hits a running neckbreaker and the shakey shakey leg drop on Rikishi. Rikishi no-sells it, and hits a Rikishi Driver on D-Lo. Goodbye D-Lo.

We're down to Rikishi and his partner in crime, Grandmaster Sexay. And just in time, #6 is Scotty 2 Hotty. He runs out to calm Rikishi down before he can destroy Grandmaster. THEY HAVE THE SUNGLASSES!! I totally forgot that the sunglasses made Rikishi transform into a dancing fool. Crowd is eating this up. 2 Cool stops the Rumble to dance. But of course, this is the Royal Rumble, so Rikishi clotheslines 2 Cool and eliminates them from the Rumble. Rikishi just shrugs. They all make up, and Rikishi keeps dancing by himself. Back to super serious business as #7 is Steve Blackman. 2000 would turn out to be the biggest year in Steve Blackman's career. Actually, most mid-card guys had their biggest year in 2000, which is why 2000 was so good. EVERYONE had a feud. Rikishi derails Blackman's momentum and tosses him out. #8 is Viscera, and we get the face off. Back and forth blows between the two, but Viscera hits a side belly-to-belly suplex on Rikishi. Big leg drop follows. Viscera splashes Rikishi in the corner, tries again and misses. THREE superkicks and Viscera is still down. Shoulder block sends him into the ropes, and Rikishi shoves Viscera over!

No time to waste, #9 comes down, and it's the Big Boss Man. Boss Man had quite the career resurgence upon returning to the WWE. He had a solid (if completely ridiculous) feud with Big Show and became a strong heel. Boss Man is hesitant to get in the ring. Boss Man circles and FLICKS RIKISHI OFF! He climbs down and decides to wait for another entrant, which is pretty smart. Unfortunately for the Boss Man, #10 is Test, who attacks Boss Man on the outside. Test hadn't turned heel just yet, but he's smart enough to attack Rikishi. Boss Man goes back to Test as we get the British Buldog at #11. Bulldog had a little main event run when he came back to the WWE, but could never reach the heights he was once at. I blame the jeans. Everyone brawls around, and we get Gangrel at #12. He's greeted by Test, but Kaientai is back in the ring. Funaki goes out, and Taka gets fucking HAULED over the top. I'm not sure if that was the elimination that knocked Taka silly. Yep, bounced his head off the outside. #13 is Edge, who the crowd clearly favored just a little more than Christian. The Bulldog tries to eliminate Edge who utilizes the eye poke to save himself. BONZAI DROP ON THE BOSS MAN! #14 is BOB BACKLUND! Big pop for that. Unfortunately, he gets attacked by...well pretty much everyone. They throw Rikishi at him in the corner but he moves. Every teams up to dump Rikishi. One side of the ring is a few old school guys (Boss Man, Bulldog, Backlund) and on the opposite side of the ring is the new class (Test, Gangrel, and Edge).

#15 is the Undisputed Intercontinental Champion, CHRIS JERICHO! It's his first Rumble and he dropkicks Bob Backlund out. Edge and Jericho go at it, which is interesting to watch considering they were a main event attraction at Wrestlemania 10 years later. Which, Edge won the Rumble in 2010, and did eliminate Chris Jericho. Backlund goes through the crowd to leave? #16 is Crash Holly, who gets SPANKED by Edge. Literally, spanked. Okay then. #17 is Chyna in her second Royal Rumble appearance. She goes through Test to get to Chris Jericho, upset she's no longer the Intercontinental Champion. Jericho tries to dump Chyna but she hangs on. Chyna suplexes Jericho out! The Boss Man knocks Chyna off the apron! Shame...about Jericho, not Chyna. #18 is Faarooq. Here comes the Mean Street Posse! Another group of guys pissed about not being in the Rumble. They attack Faarooq and leave, so Faarooq is easy pickings for the Boss Man, who tosses him out.

Lawler keeps picking the Rock to come out, but #19 is the Road Dogg. Crowd sings along with his theme music even though there are no words. The Boss Man punches him in the nuts to slow him down. #20 is Al Snow. The people in here who did or ended up feuding over the Hardcore Championship is insane; Road Dogg, Boss Man, Crash, Test, Bulldog, Al Snow. Well, there's one less as the Road Dogg tosses out the British Bulldog. #21 is Val Venis. He and Test start going at it with fist and fire. FUNAKI IS BACK! There goes Funaki. Taka was taken to the hospital. Road Dogg is just vining his legs and arms around the bottom rope, even though no one is attacking him, just to stay in. #22 is Albert. Val Venis and Al Snow simultaneously backdrop Edge out. #23 is Hardcore Holly, who failed to win the Intercontinental Championship earlier tonight. He, as well, goes after Test. Test must have pissed some people off, earlier. Or, he's been in there the longest (next to Boss Man) and is easy pickings.

#24 is THE ROCK~! The crowd...um...LOVES The Rock. There goes the Boss Man! Test and Val Venis team up to attempt an elimination on the Rock but they fail. #25 is Mr. Ass, Billy Gunn. He goes after the Rock, who must still be sore about getting humiliated as the 1999 Summerslam event. Crash goes for the Rock but gets DDT'd and thrown out. #26 is the Big Show. I don't know why the theme of the 2000 Royal Rumble was lower case letters. Big Show looks strange with long hair. Rock goes right after him but Big Show runs over, kicks Test in the back of the head, which sends him over the top. Gangrel is quick to follow to the outside. Now the Big Show wants the Rock. Big Show gorilla press slams Hardcore Holly like he was NOTHING. #27 is Bradshaw, who goes right after the Road Dogg. The Mean Street Posse is back out, but Bradshaw has better luck, and takes all three of them out. The New Age Outlaws run up from behind and eliminate Bradshaw, though. Faarooq comes back out and the Acolytes beat up the Posse on the ramp.

#28 is Kane. Man, I love Kane's old theme music. Tori is still with Kane at this point. Val Venis greets Kane but Kane grabs him by the throat and tosses him out. Big Show gorilla press slams Billy Gunn, again, like he was nothing. #29 is the Godfather, along with the Ho Train, as Kane clotheslines Albert out. AND HERE COMES FUNAKI!!! Funaki is, again, thrown out by Al Snow. Which is probably Al Snow's only elimination. Lawler wants to see Taka Michinoku eliminated AGAIN, which is pretty fucked up considering it sent Taka to the hospital. #30 is X-Pac. Ha! I was wrong; Al Snow eliminated Hardcore Holly. Big Show clotheslines the Godfather over. The Rock takes out Al Snow. Now we have three D-X m...nevermind! Billy Gunn tossed Road Dog over! Kane eliminates Billy Gunn!

Final four: Big Show, the Rock, Kane, and X-Pac. Kane goes under the ropes as the Outlaws beat him up on the outside. Rock swats away a spinning heel kick from X-Pac and sends him over the top. X-Pac gets back into the ring to be a pain in the ass...nope, nevermind, the referee's never saw X-Pac eliminated. Kane is back in the ring. Kane hits an enziguri on Big Show! BODY SLAM ON BIG SHOW! But X-Pac hits a spinning heel kick on Kane to send him to the outside. Bronco Buster on Big Show! Big Show no sells it, and gorilla press slams X-Pac ALL THE WAY to the outside. ROCK AND SHOW! ROCK AND SHOW! SPINEBUSTER! Here comes the most eeeelectrifying move in Sports Entertainment 10 years ago...the People's Elbow! Rock tries to toss Big Show over and but Big Show stops in his tracks and Chokeslams the Rock. Big Show hoists Rock up on his shoulder and goes to throw him out, but the Rock hangs on the ropes and Big Show goes over the top!! Rock wins! It was later revealed that Rock's feet actually hit the ground, if I'm not mistaken, but the Rock is in the record books as the winner. Um, not as good as I remembered it. A lot of nothing going on in this one, and much like the Hogan matches, there was really only one person who could win this thing. Not even a hot finish. **3/4