Raw August 3rd, 2009

**Opening Segment: Jeremy Piven and Dr. Ken promo, interrupted by the Miz and John Cena.

I have to say, Jeremy Piven calling "Summerslam," "Summerfest" just disappoints me. I don't want guest hosts that aren't fans. Dr. Ken cracked me up, because he did what he was supposed to do: be a sidekick. Piven came off like an actor and just didn't do it for me, and I really like him. Cena and Miz had their usual back and forth. I don't like Miz off of Raw. He's one of the few bright spots they have.

**Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger is completely and utterly the future. It's not even close. Awesome moment, Bourne yelling out, "SWAGGER!" before he dropkicks him. Swagger stealing the push-ups during the match from Scott Steiner is a good idea. Too much of a squash, and really enforced Bourne getting a fluke win, which does no good for Bourne, who is mad over. Of course, the problem becomes where do they follow up? Swagger attacks after the match, which was too short to be anything special. Hey! It's MVP! They're following up on their feud! I thought it was D.O.A. but I'm glad it's continuing.

You know what was great about Shaq as guest host last week? He's a genuine fan, and you see him at events. His charisma for every segment he was in was real, and it really showed and made the night better.

**Piven/Ken/Big Show segment.

Big Show getting a U.S. Championship match? Nahhhh. No thank you. More Dr. Ken? Yes, please. I can't believe he's a real doctor. Makes it so much better.

**Mickie James and Gail Kim vs. Beth Phoenix and ...Jillian Hall?!

Where has Jillian been? Was she in the 6-woman tag match last week? Oh well. I wonder who's taking the pinfall here. This match seems like it will be a set-up for Mickie vs. Gail at the next PPV, which is great, but I hate seeing Beth lost in the shuffle. Either way, it should be win-win. I don't need Gail or Mickie as heel though. Keeping both as face is fine with me. Typical Divas match, but Gail Kim is always refreshing to see in the ring. Wow, really? Gail Kim took the pinfall? Maybe they are going the triple threat route. Nothing special, nothing harmful, just used to build to whatever match they're doing at Summerslam.

**Triple H vs. Priceless

I can only see this ending with Shawn Michaels making the save. Let's talk about D-Generation X vs. Priceless. I like the new D-X. I don't have a problem with it. It's fun, it sells well, and Triple H and Michaels have great chemistry. And you know what? They buried the Spirit Squad, but it was a terrible gimmick and they would never have gotten over as singles cheerleading stars anyway. But I don't want D-X making Priceless look like chumps. And really, they already do. The only significance they have is when they attack from behind. What is losing to D-Generation X going to do for them? And I really, HIGHLY doubt they'll win the feud with D-X. Especially since I see Triple H vs. Orton in HIAC at...Hell in a Cell.

Priceless needs to work on that high-low. Ted's going low and you can't really tell. Priceless went over Triple H CLEAN = FANTASTIC. Great booking. Because if Triple H beat them cleanly, there's no need for a tag match. And if it's a DQ, like I thought they would do, there's no heat on Priceless. This is the best thing they've done with Priceless so far and I'm SHOCKED that they did the right thing here. Triple H going, "ow, ow, alright, that hurt" is great.

"Randy's a jerk, Batista's hurt all the time, Flair's signing autographs at the BWF or something like that." BEST LINE EVER. OH COME ON! No Shawn?! Cockteases. Nevertheless, brilliant segment, and the right guys went over clean, which I did not expect at all.

**Piven/Ken/Chavo. Please, no more Chavo vs. Hornswoggle. I just don't care. Jon Favreau name drop! Is he a fan? Let's get him as a guest host. AHAHA! "It's the dude from Heroes!"

**Carlito vs. Primo

Okay. Let's give this some time and it could be good. It deserves it. Carlito gets the jobber entrance. Primo's a very, very solid wrestler that's only getting better. Carlito can bring the goods when he's feeling it but he could work on his psychology a bit. I'm sad neither of these guys have gotten really any mic time to build up this feud. That's a problem with many of these smaller feuds that won't make it to PPV: there's no mic time, just matches. But without vocals, it's hard to care. You can't relate to either wrestler as well. Emo Carlito wins. I hope this feud doesn't end and they get much more time.

*Chavo vs. Hornswoggle

Oh joy. I can't wait to see what the stipulation is. Remember when Chavo nearly beat Chris Benoit for the United States Championship? After he lost that feud, it was all downhill from there. He got the ECW Championship...I keep forgetting about that. No chance he ever gets that close again. I sadly feel like it's only a matter of time until he's let go. MARKSWOGGLE! Awesome green hat. The singlet would have made it, but the hat works very well for Smilin' Mark Henry. Squaaaash. Didn't Mark Henry try to kill Hornswoggle? I feel like he did. Who knows. Mark Henry looks like he's having the time of his life though, and it's made him the most interested he's been since...well, ever. He got some air on that heel kick.

**Piven/KEN/Orton Segment. Hey hey, c'mon Randy, leave Dr. Ken alone. That son of a bitch ruined Dr. Ken's mood.

**United States Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Big Show

Hey look, it makes sense! Big Show never got the US title shot that he was supposed to have at Night of Champions, and we get a title defense! Wins all around. Unfortunately, it's against Big Show. CHRIS JERICHO ON COMMENTARY! WIN!! Look at that...Jericho put over Kofi. He doesn't talk him down, he builds him up, so if Big Show wins, it looks more impressive. And if Kofi retains, Big Show lost to a great wrestler. JERICHO PUTS OVER CRYME TYME TOO!

Hasn't Lawler raked up a ton of belts in his day? Quick check of Wikipedia...aaaand yeah, it's a good thing Lawler didn't reveal because he'd outdo both Jericho and Show combined. DAMN. What a huge double leg drop. I don't like how explosive that kick out was, though. We get it, Big Show is huge. Really? Show was DQ'd? BS ending. No reason at all. Big Show looks dumb for getting disqualified instead of gaining another Championship, especially since they boast their 40 combined titles.

**Triple H makes a phone call. What is he using? Who doesn't use a cell phone, honestly? "I thought you didn't do jobs!" INSIDE JOKE!! Shawn hung up on Hunter? Awesome. I like the tension they're building. It makes me think we might get Shawn vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania after all.

**SARGE NEXT WEEK!!! He was a good commissioner, so why not?

**Lumberjack Match: The Miz vs. John Cena

Miz gets the jobber entrance. :-\ Jeremy Piven and Dr. Ken heel turn? Dr. Ken is a great heel. Hey look, there's Chris Masters. Welcome back, Masters. Okay, seriously, let's get Miz a win here. SERIOUSLY? They STILL let Cena win? Come on. This is fucking ridiculous. That's too much. Nice jump by Piven. This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. They really let Cena beat Miz with 10 or so heels on the outside. Dr. Ken is still gold. Horrible main event finish. Cena is FINE if he loses to all of that. The only silver lining I can see is that Miz goes to Smackdown! and gets a bigger push...but really, he was doing great on Raw. I do not approve. Dr. Ken took a good bump, and is the best part of Raw. Some good booking tonight, some awful booking tonight.